Supporting an Older Parent While Looking After Yourself: Advice for Southampton Families
Published: 29/08/2026
Looking After an Older Parent
Looking after an older parent often happens little by little. At first, it might be picking up some shopping, driving them to appointments or helping with jobs around the house. Over time, those small acts of support can become part of your daily routine.
For many families across Southampton, caring for a loved one is something they are happy to do. But it can also be physically and emotionally demanding, especially when you are balancing work, children or other responsibilities. It is easy to put your own wellbeing to one side without even realising it.
Supporting someone you love should not mean neglecting your own health. Looking after yourself is an important part of being able to continue supporting them in the long term.
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Caring for Someone Doesn't Mean Doing Everything Alone
Many people feel they should manage everything themselves because it is their mum, dad or another close family member. Some worry that asking for help means they are letting their loved one down.
In reality, accepting support can often improve life for everyone involved.
Having an extra pair of hands for a few hours each week can give family members time to recharge, while also giving the older person the opportunity to spend time with someone new. Many people enjoy having a familiar Care Assistant to chat with, share a cup of tea or accompany them on a short outing.
Support is not about replacing family. It is about helping families continue enjoying quality time together without every visit becoming another list of jobs to do.
Recognising When You Need Support
Family carers often become so focused on someone else's needs that they forget to notice how they are feeling themselves.
You may benefit from extra support if you find yourself:
- Feeling constantly tired or overwhelmed.
- Cancelling your own appointments or social plans.
- Worrying about your loved one even when you are at work or at home.
- Finding it difficult to balance caring with other responsibilities.
- Feeling guilty whenever you take time for yourself.
These feelings are more common than many people realise, and asking for help is not a sign that you have failed. It is often the first step towards creating a more sustainable routine for everyone.
If you are caring for a family member, Carers UK has advice on looking after your own wellbeing and finding support.
Small Breaks Can Make a Big Difference
Taking time for yourself does not always mean planning a holiday or taking a whole day away.
Sometimes, a short walk around Southampton Common, meeting a friend for coffee or enjoying a quiet hour with a book can help you return feeling refreshed. Knowing your loved one is safe and has someone to talk to can make it much easier to enjoy those moments without worrying.
Regular breaks also help reduce stress and make it easier to continue supporting someone over the months and years ahead.
Staying Connected Matters Too
Social connection is just as important for older people as it is for family carers.
A change of scenery, a conversation over lunch or a visit to a familiar local place such as Sea City Museum can brighten someone's day and provide opportunities to share memories and enjoy time together.
At Right at Home Southampton, we also see the positive impact that local community events can have. Whether it is spending time outdoors, meeting new people or simply enjoying a relaxed afternoon with others, these experiences help many older people stay connected to the community they know and love.
You Don't Have to Wait for a Crisis
One of the biggest misconceptions about home care is that it is only needed when someone can no longer manage at home.
In many cases, families begin with just a small amount of support each week. This might be companionship, help around the home or assistance with everyday routines. Starting early often gives everyone time to adjust and helps older people remain independent for longer.
It can also reduce pressure on family members before caring responsibilities begin to feel overwhelming.
Looking After Yourself Is Part of Looking After Someone Else
Supporting an older parent is one of the most caring things you can do, but it should not come at the expense of your own wellbeing.
Many families across Southampton tell us that once they accepted a little extra support, they were able to spend more meaningful time with their loved one instead of feeling rushed or exhausted by everyday tasks.
If you have started wondering how to balance caring for an older parent with everything else in your life, you are not alone. Reaching out for advice or exploring the support available does not mean giving up your role. It simply means making sure both you and your loved one have the support you need to enjoy life together.