How to approach the “Care” Conversation - Ben's Blog

It can be worrying and anxiety inducing when we realise that one of our loved ones has reached a point where a care service would be beneficial. I myself have been in this situation before, and I remember feeling extremely nervous talking to my Grandad about the need to be looked after as he got older and his dementia worsened. Since then, I’ve gained a lot more experience on the topic through my care in social care and picked up many helpful tips on approaching this conversation.

We often see an increase in this type of conversation over the Festive Period, when we often take time to visit our older relatives, who we may not have seen for some time – and it might become apparent that they are struggling without support.

Hopefully, the following will help if this applies to you or someone you know.

1. Choose the Right Time and Place

• Find a calm, private setting where they feel comfortable and relaxed.
• Avoid initiating the conversation during a moment of stress or illness.

2. Start with Empathy

• Acknowledge their desire for independence.
• Use language that conveys understanding, e.g., “I know how important it is to you to stay in your own home and maintain your routine.”

3. Focus on Their Needs and Concerns

• Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective. For example:
• “How are you feeling about managing everything around the house?”
• “What would make things a little easier or safer for you?”

4. Frame It as Support, Not Dependency

• Emphasise that home care can help them stay independent for longer.
• Explain that having some support with specific tasks (like cleaning, meal prep, transportation, personal care routines) can help them focus on the things they enjoy.
• Advise that with company’s like Right at Home, the service is provided very discreetly, with CareGiver not wearing uniforms when on duty

5. Use Real-Life Examples

• Mention people you know (if appropriate) who have benefited from similar arrangements.
• Share examples of how specific services could address their concerns, e.g., “Having someone help with the shopping, or to clean the house could save you energy for your hobbies.”

6. Involve Them in the Decision-Making

• Present options rather than imposing solutions.
• Ask for their input, e.g., “What kind of help do you think would make the biggest difference for you?”
• Let them meet potential CareGivers or review service options to retain a sense of control.

7. Reassure Them About Flexibility

• Explain that home care can be customised and adjusted as needed.
• Clarify that starting with small services doesn’t mean losing their independence.

8. Address Financial Concerns

• If cost is a worry, explain any funding options, insurance coverage, or family contributions.
• Home care is also very cost effective in comparison to Residential Care

9. Be Patient and Respect Their Decision

• They may need time to process the idea. Don’t pressure them into an immediate decision.
• Follow up gently after the initial conversation.

10. Involve Trusted Third Parties (if Necessary)

• Sometimes, hearing the benefits from a doctor, social worker, or close family friend can make them more open to the idea.

By approaching the conversation with empathy, patience, and respect for their autonomy, you can foster a constructive conversation that prioritises their well-being and comfort.

For additional support about any of the points above or for information about care services please call 01606 537400, visit our website www.rightathome.co.uk/midcheshire or pop into our Northtwich Office: Winnington Hall, Winnington Lane, Winnington, Northwich, Cheshire, CW8 4DU