How to Communicate with Someone Living with Dementia
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How Does Dementia Affect Communication?
Dementia can affect the way someone communicates due to cognitive changes which can affect their speech, reasoning, or language skills. This can make it more challenging for them to communicate and for you to communicate with them. There are some approaches and strategies for speaking with someone who has dementia that have been found to make communication smoother and help prevent frustration.
How dementia affects communication will vary person-to-person depending on the type of dementia they have, what stage it is at, and their general personality and health. For each person, the language problems they experience can get worse or better throughout the day depending on factors such as environment, tiredness, medication and other health issues they may be experiencing.
Common ways that dementia affects communication are:
- Not being able to find the right word
- Repeating the same question or phrase
- Using words in the wrong order or saying words that don’t make sense.
- Finding it hard to follow or focus on a conversation
- Delayed responses
- Misunderstanding context, or struggling to understand nuance or abstract concepts
- Losing the ability to speak a language acquired later in life and becoming only able to communicate in the language they first learned as a child
When communicating with someone who has dementia, these issues with language can lead to frustration or the person withdrawing socially. This is why it’s important to use effective communication techniques for people with dementia to ensure they can stay engaged and involved with their loved ones and community.
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How to Communicate with Someone Who Has Dementia
Good communication matters for people with dementia because it’s important for maintaining relationships, keeping a sense of identity, and promoting emotional wellbeing. Feeling isolated can make symptoms of dementia harder to manage, while the cognitive stimulation that comes with good communication can improve quality of life. How to communicate well with someone who has dementia will be different for each person, but here are some general tips.
Speak Clearly and Use Simple Language
Use short sentences and communicate one idea at a time rather than asking multiple questions at once. Speaking clearly and calmly can make conversations less overwhelming and help your loved one feel more confident when responding.
If they misunderstand the first time, you can simplify your phrasing and slow down.
Give Them Time to Respond
Give them time to process what you’ve said and don’t rush their response. Dementia can affect how quickly someone understands information and finds the words they want to use. Allowing pauses in conversation and showing patience can reduce pressure and help them feel respected and included.
Minimise Distractions
The environment can impact how easy it is for someone with dementia to communicate well. Choose somewhere quiet, calm and well-lit, and ask your loved one if it’s okay for you to turn off any distractions such as the television or radio. Sitting face-to-face and maintaining gentle eye contact can also help them focus on the conversation and pick up on non-verbal cues.
Focus on Feelings, Not Just Facts
Instead of focusing on whether what your loved one is saying is correct or not, focus on how your loved one is feeling or what emotions they are expressing. If they believe that you are someone else, instead of correcting them you can acknowledge the warmth they have towards that person. Responding to the emotion behind their words can help reduce distress and create a more positive interaction.
Are People with Dementia Sensitive to Non-Verbal Communication?
When communicating with someone with dementia you can also use non-verbal communication to help facilitate. You can express meaning through facial expressions, gestures, movement, eye contact and touch. These ways of communicating can become even more important than usual for people who struggle with language due to dementia, and can help reinforce your intended meaning while speaking. A smile, gentle touch (where appropriate), or simply sitting alongside your loved one can provide comfort and strengthen your connection.
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Using Touch and Reassurance Appropriately
Physical touch can be an effective way to communicate reassurance and let people with dementia know you’re there to support them. Something small such as holding or patting their hand can give your loved one comfort and create an emotional connection without verbal communication, even if they don’t respond.
You can watch their body language carefully to make sure they are comfortable with physical touch. If they seem uncomfortable with touching, respect their personal space and keep communicating with them verbally and with non-physical strategies like gestures, facial expressions and eye contact.
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Common Communication Challenges and How to Respond
There will be times when you and your loved one face communication challenges due to dementia symptoms and not every conversation will go smoothly. There are some ways to respond to these challenges to help facilitate conversation and keep your loved one engaged and communicating.
Repeating the Same Question
If someone with dementia keeps repeating the same question, it is likely that they don’t know they are doing it, and staying patient and giving the same answer repeatedly rather than pointing out that they already asked that can be more comforting to them.
If your loved one seems distressed while asking, there are some ways to help them manage repetitive questions. For example, if they keep asking for the date or time, you can place a calendar or clock nearby for them to check themselves, or if they keep asking for the same object, you can place it somewhere very visible so they always know where it is.
Also be aware that there could be something behind their repetitive behaviour. They may keep asking what day it is because they’re worried they forgot to do something they were supposed to do today. They could be anxious and simply need reassurance rather than you repeatedly giving the same answer.
Struggling to Find the Right Words
If your loved one is struggling to find the right words, do not finish their sentence for them even if you think you know what they want to say.
Encourage them to explain their thoughts in a different way. For example, if they’re asking for a particular object and can’t find the right word, you could ask them to describe it. Afterwards, you can rephrase what they’ve said in a different way and ask if that’s what they meant to make sure you’ve understood them correctly.
Becoming Frustrated During Conversations
Your loved one may become frustrated if the conversation doesn’t go smoothly. It can be distressing for someone to not be able to communicate as they used to. It might be helpful for them to take a break, or you can shift the focus to a different subject or activity. Help them stay calm by validating their feelings and making it clear you’re there to support them and they can take their time. Sometimes just listening to their worries is enough to help them.
If you become frustrated during the conversation or find yourself raising your voice, step away from the situation if possible. Find ways to cope with stress or frustration so that you can communicate positively with your loved one and be kind to yourself if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Misunderstanding What Is Being Said
If someone with dementia misunderstands what is being said in the conversation, don’t argue with them or correct them as this can cause distress and frustration. If they say something incorrect you can go along with what they say or gently change the topic. If someone no longer has the cognitive tools to perceive reality in the same way you do, it isn’t respectful, or often possible, to push them. In this case, you can work with what they believe to continue communicating and provide them with companionship and emotional support.
Communicating as Dementia Progresses
The most effective approaches for communicating well with someone with dementia is likely to change as the condition progresses.
As your loved one goes into the later stages of dementia, you may have to take more responsibility for starting conversations or encouraging them to join in. This can be because their ability to communicate is becoming weaker, or they are becoming more withdrawn due to frustration with their own communication skills. In this case, it’s important for their wellbeing for you to make opportunities for them to socialise and converse.
How Right at Home Supports Meaningful Communication
At Right at Home, we understand the difference that meaningful communication can make for someone living with dementia. Maintaining connections with family, friends, and the wider community can help reduce feelings of isolation, support emotional wellbeing, and promote a greater sense of independence.
Our Carers are trained in dementia care, including strategies for effective and meaningful communication that promote confidence and trust. They take the time to understand each person’s unique preferences, life experiences, and communication style, adapting their approach to meet changing needs.
We also recognise that communication is about much more than words. Shared activities, familiar routines, music, photographs, and reminiscence can all provide valuable opportunities for connection and self-expression. By encouraging these meaningful moments, our Carers help individuals maintain their identity and strengthen relationships with those around them.
In addition, we can accompany your loved one to dementia-friendly activities, community groups, and social events so they can remain engaged in local life, reconnect with existing friendships, and build new social connections. These opportunities can provide a sense of belonging, stimulate conversation, and support ongoing participation in the activities they enjoy.
Our goal is to help people living with dementia feel understood and valued every day, while giving families peace of mind that their loved one is receiving compassionate, person-centred support.
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